How to Stop Passive Aggressive Employees (and Even Board Members) Dead in Their Tracks

By Glenn Shepard
 
Make a dog mad, and he’ll bite you. Two seconds later, he’ll be licking your face in adoration. Dogs are so forgiving that it’s impossible to ruin your relationship with one.
 
Cats, on the other hand, play by a different set of rules. Make a cat mad, and it won’t react right away. It’ll wait until you leave the house, then spray the walls with urine just to remind you who’s in charge.
 
Passive-aggressive people are like cats. They smile to your face, then stab you in the back the moment your back is turned.
 
These are the people your parents warned you about when they taught you to keep your friends close and your enemies closer — because if you can’t see the attack coming, you’ll never know what hit you.
 
Unlike aggressive people who thrive on direct confrontation, passive people thrive on indirect confrontation
 
The three most common ways they attack you are:
 

• Sabotage
• Ambush
• Revenge

 
Working with one feels like brushing up against a porcupine. A single prick won’t kill you. But over time, it wears you down.
 
A manager who attended my seminar at the University of Central Florida found this out the hard way. He worked at a major theme park in Orlando and made the mistake of reprimanding a parking lot attendant — whose job was to direct over 10,000 cars where to park every day — at the very end of his shift.
 
The employee said nothing but apparently stewed over it all night. The next morning, he got revenge by directing all the red cars to park in one section, all the blue cars in another, all the white cars in another, and so on.
 
That night when the park closed and over 10,000 exhausted tourists stumbled out of the park searching for their cars, they found hundreds of identical ones parked side by side.
 
It was total chaos. They couldn’t punish him because they couldn’t prove he intentionally did anything wrong, but he sure found a way to get payback with the boss.
 
Yet for all their cleverness, passive-aggressive people share one fatal weakness: They’re all cowards.
 
The one thing that terrifies them more than anything is direct confrontation, and it’s your key to taking away their power.
 
Here’s an example…
 
Imagine that tomorrow morning, a passive-aggressive employee sarcastically greets you with “Did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?”
 
While that might sound harmless to a layperson, it could indicate something much larger simmering beneath the surface — especially if this is part of a pattern of behavior.
 
Here’s why…
 
Sarcasm is a very common manifestation of a passive-aggressive mentality. The word sarcasm comes from the Greek sarkasmos, which is interpreted in modern English “To tear flesh.”
 
Their goal is to metaphorically cut into your skin.
 
So you force them into a direct confrontation by calmly but directly responding “And exactly what did you mean by that comment?”
 
They’ll backpedal with “Oh, nothing. I was just teasing.”
 
But don’t let them off the hook. Press further by saying “Obviously you did, or you wouldn’t have said it to begin with. What did you mean by that personal attack on me?”
 
Once they realize you’re not such an easy target, they’ll move on to someone else who is.

 
About the Author
Glenn Shepard has served as president of Glenn Shepard Seminars in Nashville, TN for 30 years. Recognized nationwide as one of today’s leading authorities on management and leadership skills for small businesses and frontline supervisors, Glenn is also well known in the chamber world as the publisher of ChamberExecOpenings.com — the largest job board for chamber execs in America. He has personally invested over $100,000 of his own funds to provide this resource free to the chamber industry for the past 15 years. For additional free resources, visit www.GlennShepard.com. ©Copyright 2025 Glenn Shepard Seminars. This article may not be reproduced in any way without the express written consent of the copyright owner.